Saturday, May 12, 2012

Week 2



Well, here I am at the end of Week 2 of Retirement. I haven't accomplished much these two weeks. The question is, "Is this OK? Am I enjoying myself? Am I happy?"

WHAT AM I FEELING?

  • I'm relieved to have the decision behind me - it weighed heavily on my mind for so long.
  • I'm relieved to have the "last day" behind me as that day had loomed in the future for the past two years.

RELIEF

  • I feel "Free" - which I've yearned for for so long. Freedom to do whatever. There has been a yearning to have "freedom to do art". Yet I've done very little art in the last two weeks.
  • I feel a little "At Odds" and "Weird" with no deadlines. I've had projects with deadlines for so long, it is a little disconcerting.
  • I worry a little that I could go days, weeks, even months (!) with accomplishing very little.

AT ODDS

  • I feel the sense of "Nothingness", being in limbo, that process that William Bridges describes as the Neutral Zone. 
  • I know I'll develop a "routine" and my energy level will rise and a "new beginning" will emerge ... at some point.

NOTHINGNESS

At least I understand the psychological stages I'm passing through with this transition. I wouldn't describe what I feel as "happy" or "content" but I understand why.

Next week I have deadlines as I need to do my final project for the Text and Imagery class and get the guest room ready for friends who arrive on Friday. In the meantime, I intend to enjoy this weekend with no pressure to "do anything".

Have a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day.



1 comment:

Wendy said...

When I returned to New Zealand after some years away, I gave myself some time off and I felt much the same as you describe - it was a practise run at retirement I guess. Now I'm back at work full-time and I really miss the luxury of time on my hands and the lack of pressure it brought - it did take a while to get used to though.